When I first found out that you were here with me, I was overjoyed.
I had wanted you for a long while.
It was a constant longing. An ache in my heart that I couldn’t seem to fill.
Then, it happened. Your tiny form began growing inside my womb.
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, those two pink lines staring back at me.
My heart was exploding with new-found love for you, my baby.
The knowledge of your existence was the sweetest message I had ever received.
Your little heartbeat was music to my ears.
Your tiny kicks against my ribs were my daily delight.
I prayed for you, that you might be my baby someday. That your presence in my womb be a reality.
I loved you, even before you existed.
I fought for you, against everyone and everything that threatened us.
I missed you so much, and I hadn’t even met you yet.
My arms ached to hold you. My heart carried that blessing for so long, alone.
I introduced you to music, and felt you dance within my womb. I spent hours feeling your joyful dancing.
I became more and more anxious for your arrival. The anticipation was unbearable.
My heart raced when the doctor said, “You are having a baby today.”
How could I be anywhere near what you deserved?
What if I wasn’t good at being a mother?
Doubt filled my mind.
I didn’t have time to dwell on doubt, though.
My attention was torn away by waves of intensity wrapped around my abdomen as contractions drew you nearer to the outside world.
A kind of strength I had never felt before enveloped my body, washing through to my core.
I knew it was time.
The force of your tiny body leaving mine was indescribable.
I felt no pain or fear.
I heard your cry and instantly experienced your damp, wrinkled skin touch mine as you were placed on my chest.
As I held you, I rejoiced.
The missing piece of my heart was finally where it belonged.
We were together at last.
New Crunchy Mom