Bubba decide to wake me up at 4:10 am this morning.
It was a rather rude awakening.
Bubba’s idea of an appropriate 4 am wake-up call (there isn’t one, I assure you), was attempting to gouge my eye out with one hand, grabbing a chunk of hair with the other, and biting my face, for good measure, I guess.
I can only imagine was he was thinking…
“Maybe if I pry her eye open, she’ll feed me!”
“Hmmm, that didn’t work. Let me see…”
“Hey mommy, are you awake? I’m hungry!”
“No? Well, you’ve left me no choice, I must EAT YOUR FACE!”
I wrestled Bubba, sleepily, while trying to get his diaper changed.
After some literal kicks and giggles, I was successful.
I stood up, with only one eye cooperating with the whole “I’m awake now” thing.
I managed to not stub my toe on any toys on the trip to and from the wetbag, thankfully.
When I returned, I laid down beside Bubba.
“Can we go back to sleep now?” I asked.
He responded by pulling his toes up to his hands and farting.
I rolled away, trying to escape the stench.
It was then that the bed began to rumble.
I looked at Bubba and laughed.
“Okay stinky butt, let’s be done with the farts.” I said.
He turned to look at me and as he did, the cabinets in the kitchen began rattling.
“Oh my gosh, what did you do?” I asked him.
A moment later I realized we were in the middle of an earthquake.
We don’t get a lot of those around here, especially not big ones.
Tornadoes, yes. Earthquakes, not so much.
I huddled up with Bubba, shielding his little body.
This was the longest, loudest, biggest earthquake we’d every been through. In fact, this was Bubba’s first earthquake outside of the womb.
Once it stopped, I sat Bubba upright on my lap.
I said, “Congratulations, apparently your massive fart caused an earthquake. Your daddy will be so proud.”
He was quite excited, too excited to go back to sleep.
Guess who is cranky and tired today? 😉
New Crunchy Mom