Hi there! 🙂

Whew! It’s been crazy lately. I have a few things I have planned to write about (namely fluff mail!!) but I haven’t had the chance to type it all out yet.

But today, I wanted to tell you how I deal with our non-crunchy family and friends.

I am sure we all have that one person in our family that has some objections about our crunchy ways, right? I have several…

Family member : “Oh, you didn’t buy this shampoo for cradle cap?”

New Crunchy Mom : “Nope, we put coconut oil on it and it cleared it right up!”

Family member : “Hmmm…Did his pediatrician say that was okay? Seems dangerous to me.”

New Crunchy Mom : “Yes she did, and actually, the ingredients in that shampoo are more dangerous…”

Anything we do that isn’t the way it “used to be done” is called into question…

Family member : “When are you going to give him solids?? By eight weeks I gave you mashed potatoes.”

New Crunchy Mom : “It isn’t recommended to give babies solids until six months, sometimes four. Plus, we are planning on doing baby-led solids.”

Family member : “Well, that’s the way we did it and you turned out just fine! Besides, baby-led solids sounds dangerous!”

Sometimes you are accused of being “gross” or “unsanitary”…

Family member : “What is up with this diaper?”

New Crunchy Mom : “It’s a cloth diaper! Isn’t it cute?”

Family member : “Ewww! You put poop in your washer? That’s disgusting!”

New Crunchy Mom : *Describes Bubba’s poop in detail* 😉

Oh, and you get accused of spoiling. ALL. THE. TIME.

Family member : “Why do you let him nurse so much? You are going to spoil him!

New Crunchy Mom : “We nurse on-demand. Do you only eat three meals a day with no snacks or drinks in between?”


And more spoiling…

Family member : “You always have him in that contraption (K’tan carrier), he’ll never learn to walk.”

New Crunchy Mom : “Baby carriers do not hinder child’s ability to learn to walk. Unless you did not follow the instructions, I suppose.”

Family member : “He doesn’t even like it!”

New Crunchy Mom : “Really? Because ever time I put him in it, he plays happily or falls asleep.”

Family member : “Well, you’re going to spoil him!”

It seems like no matter what we do, there is always something wrong with it? Every parent gets this, but in the crunchy world, there is a special kind of skepticism that we receive, unique to our lifestyle.

Some reasons we have trouble with our family and friends:

  • Genuine concern/curiosity

Sometimes, our loved ones ask questions due to the fact that they really don’t know if what we are doing is safe. Sometimes they are right. I know a few people in the crunchy world who use essential oils unsafely, just to name one scenario. But, most of the crunchy moms I know do their research!

  • What can you do?

Tell them “Thank you for your concern! I’ve done my research and decided this is what’s best for my family. If you’d like to see the research on this subject, I can send you some links and/or books for you to read. If you have some research of your own, I’d be happy to read it.”

  • Outdated Information

It seems like every day some new recommendation comes out in relation to what is and isn’t safe for babies and children. It’s no wonder our family and friends are confused by how much things have changed, even without the addition of crunchy things.

  • What  can you do?

Explain why and how things have changed! Why the new recommendations are what they are and how they can help by following them with your little one. 🙂 You can also reassure them that they were not stupid, dumb, irresponsible or anything else they may be feeling by not knowing the changes or not having done the current recommendations with their children. They did what they thought was best based on the information they had, just like we do!

  • Different Parenting Styles

This is a tough one! I believe that different parenting styles can be perfect for different kids. It’s not a one size fits all type of thing. My parents had a style completely different from my own, mine is more in line with gentle/attachment parenting (common in the crunchy world). And guess what! They aren’t exactly thrilled that I’ve chosen a different style than them.

  • What can you do?

Explain that each child is different, and while one parenting style will work great with one kid, it might not for another who has a different personality. This is a pretty good way to diffuse this situation, in my experience. Remember, the only person who gets to parent your child is you!

  • Feeling of Exclusion

They feel left out because they don’t have the same lifestyle and don’t know how to relate. For example: They feel left out because they can’t change your baby’s diaper because they don’t know how cloth works.

  • What can you do?

Teach them! 🙂 I have taught one of my family members how cloth works and now they love it and think it’s really cool! I talk to our family and friends a lot about the products we use and why. I’ve also demonstrated to our families how our baby carriers work, which has lessened the intimidation they previously felt with them.

  • Mom Guilt

This is the big one! We all have mom guilt, and it sucks. But our own mother’s have had many more years to stew on their mom guilt. So when your mother or another woman in your family or friends group is defensive with you when talking about parenting, it probably stems from this.

We as moms think we are always being judged (and let’s face it, sometimes we are). Maybe it’s because we know that at some point, we’ve judged another mom. It’s hard! We love all the babies, not just our own, and sometimes we act on that love in a way that may not be appropriate.

  • What can you do?

Talk about mom guilt and judging with the woman in question, it may help them become less defensive in the future, especially if they know you aren’t judging them (or trying not to, at least) and they are the ones being hard on themselves because of their mom guilt.

Basically, in any scenario I try to teach, educate and demonstrate. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, but sometimes you can make a crunchy lady out of them if you choose to explain things 😉

How do you deal with crunchy parenting conflicts?

New Crunchy Mom & Bubba